January 2009
1 post
December 2008
4 posts
Amir: whatsa matter
Amir: not gonna make me feel like shit today?
Jake: im having a good day
Amir: go fuck yourself
Amir: sorry, no more talking.
Amir: wazaap though
Jake: not online either
Amir: ugh meet m e in conference room. 5 mins.
Jake: nope
Amir: kay
November 2008
6 posts
Amir: sup slut
Amir: gota great song for you to listen to
Amir: iTUNES IT UP!!!
Amir: BRAH
Amir: BRAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Amir: iTUNES IT!
Amir: lets DO THis
Amir: jake
Amir: itunes it
Amir: please
Amir: dont wanna cry just...
Amir: comon
Amir: why are you doing this tome?
Amir: fuck you
Amir: jake
Amir: jayyyyke
Amir: are you opening up itunes? is that why youre not responding?
Amir: lemme know
Amir: jkae
Amir: ajkejkajekajkejaek
Amir: ajkeajekjaekjaekjaekj
Amir: ok
Amir: so you just werent looking
Amir: nobody likes me. good. i hate everybody.
Jake (Autoreply): LUNCH
Amir: except for you.
Amir: jake im gonna punch you in 30 seconds
Amir: starting now
Amir: IJFASCO
Amir: i just farted
Amir: and shit came out
Amir: help me.
Amir: dinner tonight. im paying.
Amir: suck my BALLS. you cant ignore me all the time you UNCLE FUCKER
October 2008
9 posts
After I got back from the bathroom
Amir: fucking missed you like shit
Amir: sorry
Amir: love you too baby
Amir: sorry wrong IM
Amir: jake
Amir: wrong IM Box. meant to write that to somebody else bro
Jake: cool
Jake: its fine
Amir: FEEL SO STUPID
Amir: talking to my baby
Amir: i cant keep doing this bro
Amir: jake
Amir: i cant keep doing this bro
Jake: ok then stop
Amir: youre right.
Amir: i cant just stop.
Amir: GOD you fucking get me
Amir: you call me on all my little bullshit things that most people dont
Amir: haha. wanna go to a poetry reading tonight?
Amir: I'm still here.
Amir: you know. in case you cared.
Jake: i dont
Amir: youre getting really close to losing me jake
Amir: jake
Amir: you gonna use that sweatshirt?
Amir: lemme borrow it BOYEE
Amir: jkae
Amir: every time i come back to my computer and i have no new emails i am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. straight up.
Amir: i went to the movies on friday, then sat just chilled or whatever
Jake: k
Amir: not much sunndaroo
Amir: whyd you ask
Jake: didnt
Amir: jek
Jake: FUCK OFF
Amir: jk
Amir: no need to apologize comprende
September 2008
18 posts
Amir: http://www.bustedtees.com/shirt/shiksas/male
Amir: ah,
Amir: sorry
Amir: didnt mean to send that brotha
Jake: don't worry, i'll close it.
Amir: ah.
Amir: how much of your day do you spend doing online banking?
Jake: none
Jake: why
Amir: me too
Amir: similarity numba 201 brotha
Amir: you just failed the gay test.
Amir: straight up
Amir: i dont know if i can talk to you anymore
Jake: oh ok
Amir: ill learn to live with it.
Amir: i still love you
Amir: you look unbelievable today
Jake: gross
Amir: Jake do you have my Adam Sandler CD? SLOPPY JOES SLOP SLOPPY JOES. lol. Ummm...
When that "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" song was...
Amir: im fucking jake hurwitz!
Amir: lets video chat
Jake: no
Amir: PELALSEEE
Amir: jakekajkeajkjaejkeakj
Amir: JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE orwhatever JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE
Amir: ditch rosie and lets go get some fucking trail mix or soemthing dog
Amir: you dont give a shit about that red headed faggot
Amir: right?
An Hour After the Previous Post...
Amir: regardless of what happens in the next year, I have no regrets because I know I gave it my all. 100%.
Amir: or whateva
Amir: stupid
Amir: 10 years down the road, 20 years down the road. 50 years down the road. I know if nothing changes I'll have at least 5 people from this office that i can still call and count on. Easy.
Amir: stupid
Amir: whateva
Amir: How much... game do you have?
Amir: question, how do you make it so i dont have to i/m you every five mins, it just says HI or whatever automatically
Jake: just sign off and on 30 times in a row
Jake: then change your password to something very complicated
Jake: like that you might not remember
Amir: done. then.
Amir: How much... game do you have?
Amir: sorry to keep bugging you about this but how big do you think my dick is. guess a 4 inch range.
Amir: lol im dnlding 5 seasons of xena
Amir: DAS WHY DINTERNET IS SLAW
Amir: DAS WHY DINTERNET IS SLAW
Jake: ok you cant do that right?
Amir: DAS WHY DINTERNET IS SLAW
Amir: DAS WHY DINTERNET IS SLAW
Amir: DAS WHY DINTERNET IS SLAW
Jake: cause it messes up peoples work
Amir: DAS WHY DINTERNET IS SLAW
Jake: stop typing that
Amir: DAS WHY DINTERNET IS SLAW
Amir: DAS WHY DINTERNET IS SLAW
Amir: dont worry
Amir: im only telling you
Amir: so
Amir: nobody veel find AUT
Amir: lol
Amir: DAS WHY DINTERNET IS SLAW
Jake: so that means im telling everyone
Amir: ah
Amir: chill
Amir: i could get in big trouble
Amir: i am so sorry about how I've been acting.
Amir: The last couple years just aren't me.
Amir: I know you dont have to accept this apology
Amir: I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.
Amir: lol
Amir: jake.
Amir: can u imagine if i talked gay like that
Amir: i saw harold and kumar 5 times this weekend
Amir: how many for ye?
Jake: none
Jake: god you depress me
Amir: lol
Amir: lata babe
August 2008
11 posts
Amir: okay wow, youre really not responding right now
Jake: ok
Amir: no
Jake: i am
Amir: fuck you
Jake: you didnt even wait a minute
Jake: jesus
Amir: i dont need this type of treatment
Jake: youre overreacting
Amir: my therapist told me to stick up for myself
Amir: and thats what im doing
Amir: so.
Amir: ha.
Amir: and you think i give a shit... why?
Jake: i didnt say anything
Amir: ok so youre a dick
Amir: and thats how you play the dating game
On a day where someone bought bagels for our...
Amir: i ated 10 bagels htis mornin'
Amir: lol
Amir: So you are literally one of the best looking men I've ever seen. FYI.
Amir: im still here
Jake: bnvbkjhb
Amir: lol
Amir: jakey
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: bnvbkjhb
Amir: what are you laughing at
Amir: tellme
Amir: rightnow
Amir: lol. i just openned collegehumor.com for te first time in 9 months. it looks gay.
Jake: god
Amir: gonna write an ARRRTEECLE
Amir: sabout pirates orwhateva
Amir: i vant to git a tattoo under me pubes
Amir: that says pubes
Amir: sap
Jake: what
Amir: i dunno ithought you said hey
Amir: you on the facebook?
On a cold, rainy day.
Amir: this is my favorite weather
Jake: stop
Amir: when ya work here and ignore me i want to do anything i can to get your attention and that includes loving you more
Amir: lol
Jake: before you say things to me over aim
Jake: think
Amir: i am.
Jake: "would i send this in an all email?"
Jake: and if you wouldnt
Jake: dont say it to me
Amir: i would.
Amir: in fact im going to
Jake: no no no no
Jake: ok bad example
Amir: donzy
Amir: done zo
Amir: done zeena
Amir: i drink your milkshake
Amir: or whatever
Amir: 69.
Amir: does that mean anything to you?
Jake: not coming from you no
Amir: what does it mean
Amir: to you
Amir: or in general
Jake: do you not know what it means?
Amir: i know what it means
Amir: its when you are eating a girls pussy while she gags on your dick
Jake: ugh
Jake: ok
Jake: jesus
Jake: so why did you ask me
Amir: lol
July 2008
1 post
Amir: every day is another step closer to death. We're all crawling towards the end, some of us slower than others. ever thought of that
Amir: jake?